REVISED AUG. 6th. Thanks for your comments! Is this better?
The Mystery Box
One-sentence Pitch: When a box meant for her eccentric neighbor is delivered to Yvette, she is lured into a horrifying trap and must pacify the neighbor to save her family.
Yvette stepped up to her back-fence neighbor’s house and rang the bell. Her kids! She should have brought her kids along! They would want to meet Cruella De Ville. But it was too late; a woman opened the grimy front door and poked her head out.
She looked younger than Yvette had expected and had rings beneath her beady brown eyes, and her red frizzy hair danced in all sorts of directions, as if it hadn’t seen a brush in a few days. She was shorter than Yvette, even as she slouched on the stoop of her doorstep, and thin—too thin. Her ratty pink robe was secured at the waist, and her hands hid in the front pockets. Her dingy socks hung loose around bony legs and ankles. She wore no shoes.